the past and the future

the examination nearly over. oh .. i forgot one exam to go on monday.I should preparing it well. and praise to god.. i could passed the last exam as well. alhamdulillah..and i'm expecting i got 4.oo of my IP this semester.

I got many job this month, alhamdulillah. after being so busy in bulungan cup last week , mba lisa gave me another job as a stand guide next week. it was so fun being stand guide. i got many an experience,they're taught me how to operating any kinf of machine? what's the ingredients product for?how to be succesful women in future? how does the EO works? and else. and exactly i could earned money by myself. ho ho.. proud my self, not for being arrogant or something. i can buy something i want n of course without not to be whimper asking for money to my parents or expecting my dad add me some money in account.atleast alleviating my parents's load lah.. and o ya, yesterday i was thinking to buy laptop that i saw in glodok mangga 2 when fikri and I went there to bought TV last month. i want buy it with my 'own money' . i'm still collecting it. I love the silver ones.

Looking forward almost 3 weeks holiday. I haven't make any plan to do yet. Any idea to go or to do,guys? Besides sleeping,eating,watching dvd all day,and other lazziness thingy. hmm.. i thought i need some vacation for tranquility. i would like to go somewhere cozy,comfort,nature, and nice. and i would do something different such a kind of sports that need of high bravery like hiking to mahameru mountain, parasailing, bungee jumping, or arung jeram. ya.. i'm thinking to try them!

Yesterday happened to be our 1st and 1 months Anniversarry, but something happened repeatly, but i can not tell u, guys! i'm sorry. it's too private and confidential . hahaha. kidding.. all i can do is pray for Allah. i hope we're protected by Allah, live happily, full of happiness, loving each other forever. amin.
Love is blind. we could do something stupid, ridiculous,nonsense because of LOVE. Love can makes us flying high , smilimg all day long,felt like world is in our hands, felt like we're in heaven,LOVE bring the joy and happiness. But sometimes a terrible things happened because of LOVE. Jeolusy, pain, heartbroken, and else even LOVE can makes us falls down,crying cats and dogs. felt like this is the end of our life. but, hey... life must go on, guys! there'e another chance to get better,to mend the pain. we have to wake up from sadness and expecting tomorrow would be better than ever. no more pain, crying, fighting, and other terrible things. but there'll be happiness, loving,carrying, smiling, hugs and kissing, and other greatfull things.and I know I can do it! as a human all we can to do is only pray for the God and endeavour to get a better life. past is past. come to looking in the future. we will never know what God has planned for us. may Allah still protecting me. amin

baikan lagi

gw lagi di pasar festival ni.. tadi mau beli majalah yanng biasanya tapi ngga ada, trus om ade nitip baked potato,tadinya si shifa mau ikut tapi diluar panas banget jadinya ngga jadi deh, dan akhirnya gw mau cek2 email dulu.

ya ya.. lagi lagi.. each time i check my email ,fs or fikri's fs.. i'm feeling so bad.. n today when i check fikri's in found his ex named julia has added him, oh my god.. i'm so insecure.. next week he will come back to bukit tinggi for almost a months,i'm afraid that he'll meet her. and what kind of feeling inside me this time.. i won't to be too jealous with him anymore. but honestly, i was so scared.. many thinks inside my mind.. why everything that makes me jealous come back to me? just stop it already, i was so tired. satu masalah udah selesai dan i wish there's no another problem between us, i just wanted that we both could live happily and peacefull. i believe in him.. but i do afraid that he'll gonna makes me feel down. please calm down tasya,, all i can do is only pray for Allah,i hope everything would be better and fine, amien..

oyah.. i want to tell u about my fighting with fikri last time, ya..finally kita baikan lagi, i was so happy, something happened on last saturday night, i really really sorry, i don't meant to do that.. and i can't believe why did i do that,, i lost him for a days, he won't calls me, he rebuked me when i call him, i was so sad, i can't believe that he could so rude to me that time, i just can't imagine that. but i deserve what i have done to him, and i do apologise for all my fault. and now we start of something new relationship, something that makes us comfort and needed each other. we won't separate, we'll do the best. i won't any reason ruin our happiness, yah i though everything gonna be fine . i hope.

i'll never stop to saying that i love him so much.. i am so greatfull to him..

and i'll preparing my exam next week,pray for me guys..

we're in..

ya.. we're in fighting now, for misunderstanding reason,, honestly, i'm tired with this situation, but sometime i was thinking it makes me grow up wisely, we can change bad habit on us. i hope it just like another fighting like usually, fighting at first, warm embrace after that. the sweetest moment when we're after arguing eah other. then problem solved! ya.. i hope.

tomorrow i have to wake up early because i got work in bulungan cup. would be my last day to work. and tommorow the event would be closed. and i'm happy that maliq and d'essentials participating to fill the show. i'm happy happy..and i could watching the show for free. yippiiee..

back to my sadness time,
i'm so sad have a fighting with him, i always pray that we're on happiness all the time, but i have to accept that nobodys perfect, pasti ada ngga cocoknya. ketidakcocokan yang bikin kita saling mengisi satu sama lainnya. ya ya.. ambil hikmahnya saja. yang jelas i always love him ..

he always fill my emptiness,my sadness time, but now i don't know where he is. i called his handphone but he didn't hang up the phone, i called his home and i talked with uda dendy, he tells me that fikri not in home, and probably he eats or something. ya.. i'm waiting for his call now..

hmm.. mau pulang tapi masih macet banget.. and i forgot to buy something for grandma, i want to buy cheese bread for her. i wanna go home soon.. but the traffic jam makes me had headache.. shit!

hmm.. i only ate bubur today, i don't know why i won't to eat..i just wanna drink much.. tapi sempet ngiler juga sih pas liat anak2 pada makan soto babat, hmm.. yummy..! tapi lagi ngga pengen makan banyak aja. i'm on diet ! hahaha...

hmm.. i was thinking about my exams next week.. i have to study hard. ya ya.. i know. i will. pray for me, guys ...

i just wanna say.. i love him so much.. i hope the fighting would be over soon. aminnn..

bete !

tau ngga gw udah nulis2 panjang mau update blog tiba2 tulisan gw terhapu semua... grrrr.. bete bete!

i'm not in mood to writing for twice.. grrrrr.. !

still here waiting

almost 2 hours here.. i'm trying to booking tickets to bali next august, yah.. air asia promo, o Rp. 189.ooo return,only pay the tax..mba ika told us via sms last night.. but repeatly the website errors. fiuh.. namanya juga tiket murah pasti banyak bgt yang lagi browsing.. yah rejeki ngga kemana.. ya kan??!! rencananya i'll going with noni,fara,fikri,afghan,krita.. having fun together di BALI gitu lho.. uhh.. it'll be cool. so romantic.. can't imagine.. i hope we got the tickets. amien..

this is last day i studying Hukum tata negara,next week i'll preparing my exams.. wish me luck, guys! semoga aja IP gw tambah tinggi.. yah.. 4.00 bisa lah.. i was happy when my result last semester. first semester i got 3.79 then in second semester i got 3.89.. pray for me, huh. i'll do my best !

talking about new year .. i have no special resolutions this year, i only pray that i should do my best from now. i'll take care of my family,friends,bestfriends,my environment and my loved ones.i always pray we will love each other forever. i want everything would be better than ever.

many problem i had last year .. started from the 'girl' that trying to ruin my happiness and the girl happened to be my boyfriend's 'new cousin' .. u can imagine my feelings.. it so pathetic for me knowing she's became an intruder.
at first. i saw her picture with bf as a primary photo in friendster. (what the fuck u do that for). then.

me : 'who is she?'

my bf : 'she is my cousin from malaysia.'

me : 'ooh.. i c.. but i never hearing about her before. and why u put ur picture and her as a primaryphoto in ur profile?'

my bf : ok, i'll change it. she send me the picture and she wants me to put it as a primary photo.

me : she's so flirtatous.. 'ok, just removed it,ok.'

a few moths i kept quiet. i thought there's something wrong on her. she's been in love with him more than who she is. then.oneday i dig her blog up.. n u know.. i seen her picture and her fucking 'poem' that dedicated to my boyfriend. what the fuck? then. i send her a message and show her about my feelings after seen her poem. then. u know what did she said. 'ohh.. it wasn't dedicated for fik'. fuck u! why didn't u admit that? i ask her repeatly but with the same answer. she did not to admit what she has done to me. i revolted with her like pretend innocent. who do you think u are? i really really disgusted with u. sok hebat!

but fikri realizing me.. and he said ' honey, . she's nothing. she's never on my mind. i never even like her. there's no advantages fighting with "orang gila". she's really really nothing. i've told u the truth. dia pernah kirim message ke aku dan she asked me to read her 'poem' in her blog after she come back to malaysia. she's flrting too much.. but i never like her. aku tau sekarang dia itu munafik. ngga mau ngaku pernah suka sama aku, bukannya aku yang kegeeran atau gimana, tapi dia emang pernah bilang suka sama aku. yeah, mungkin dia ngga bisa nerima kekalahan aja. yang jelas.i NEVER falling in love with her.

then i realised she's two face. two personality. had a different confession in her blog and reality.

and i guess there's lot of better things i have to do than thinking of girl that ruin my happines.

please..please .. leave me alone !

I'm thinking now.
How do I throw away my hatred, my revengeful heart of HER?
How do I forget someone who really annoyed me and ruin my happiness? How do I pretend to be someone who never knows her?
pretend there's nothing happened in my life.

Is stuggling my love life from everything annoys me considering as a crime?
Is admonish someone who flirting too much with my bf considering as a mistake?
Is asking someone to admit for something she really did toward me as a sin?
Is that fair if she scold me as if she's the one who's 'right'?

Why did she always said that her flirting is only a flirting?
Why did She don't want to admit her 'bithchy soul that she had'?
Why did She put my bf's pic on her 'poem' if she really never have special feelings to him?
Why did She took my bf's candidly?
Why did She pretend all she has done wasn't important to me?
Why did she never thinks if she's being me?on my position that time?
found out everything that really annoyed me. Knowing theres a girl who approaching, flirting TOO MUCH with my bf. and the girl happened to be my bf's 'new cousin'.. it so AWFUL !!!!!

DON'T BLAME ME if I really hate u.
( it because of u )
DON'T BLAME ME why I kept on accuse u ruin my relationship.
( it because I got MANY of evidence)
DON'T BLAME ME if I won't ever admit u as my bf's cousin. whatever it is.
( coz cousin don't do that)
DON'T BLAME ME why I asked u to stay away from US?
( because WE want to live happily)

just go away. don't ever come back.
just leave us. don't ever come back.
just let us get our happiness. without YOU.
just let us loving each other. without YOU.

I Hope. YOU. ARE.DISSAPEAR.SOON.